Meet the Asparamancer

Meet Jemima Packington, the world’s first and only Asparamancer, meaning she’s actually able to predict the future using nothing more then a handful of asparagus by tossing the spears into the air and interpreting how they land. She has made dozens of accurate predictions in recent years, including the demise of Gordon Brown, the credit crunch, and Oscar glory for British film The King’s Speech.

The Asparamancer Predictions 2021

  1. Although the impact of Covid-19 will still be felt around the world, the vaccines will bring a return to the new normal by June 2021.
  2. Harry Duke of Sussex will return to the UK on his own in March when he will be advised there will not be an extension to his current terms.
  3. HM The Queen will make an important announcement in June to coincide with her official birthday as Sovereign and we can expect the announcement of at least two Royal divorces and a spate of ill-health amongst Royals of all ages
  4. Former President Trump will be disowned by GOP members because of his appalling handling of the US domestic situation. He will not stand for a further term as President.
  5. The world’s population will become kinder and more tolerant as a direct result of the pandemic and governments will be more beholden to the will of their people.
  6. Big salaries for star sportsman and the obsession with celebrities will become things of the past – the era of semi-professional sportsmen will re-emerge along with a focus on real heroes.
  7. Foreign travel will become an occasional option rather than the annual norm.
  8. Extremes of weather as previously predicted will continue. Tropical storms will become more frequent. The Far East will be badly hit.
  9. There will be no second Scottish referendum.
  10. Vale of Evesham asparagus will continue to be recognised as the world’s best and Gus will become a popular name for baby boys born in 2021.

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